In this post we are listing seven additional ways to help build resiliency. It’s pretty much all self care. When we fill our own cups, we can then authentically help others fill theirs. When these are done consistently, on a daily, or sometimes, hourly basis, they work best. The consistency of these practices are what will build your resiliency and move you forward on your path.
We recommend having a list of 4 or 5 actions that you will do when you’re stressed out that you can do easily and effortlessly. These should be of different lengths and complexities, so things you can do wherever you are, among other people, with other people or in private. Again, remember it is easier to maintain resilience than to build it, so practice the techniques you choose often, even when you are calm.
- Make yourself your favorite meal. My whole family makes ‘pastina,’ small pasta cooked with chicken broth and then adding butter and salt. Not healthy at all but oh-so-wonderful when I need a little warm comfort.
- Mirror Exercise – this one exercise, when done for 40 days in a row, has singlehandedly change the dynamic of my self-talk. Each night before bed (and I mean each night, set up a reminder if you need it), stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye and tell yourself how wonderful you are, what a good job you did with this or that, how you helped this person, etc. Be as specific as possible. And then while continuing to look yourself in the eye tell yourself “I Love you, I really Love you!”
- Get a hold on self-sabotage – Sabotage is insidious in it’s nature, effecting us in such little, minute ways but because it’s incessant-ness, it can effect us in ways that we are not aware of. Think Princess and the Pea. It’s there and we can feel it even when we cover it up. We have to dig deep and pull out the pea.
- Release old stagnant negative energy… Take a kickboxing class, shake your arms vigorously (this will most likely feel strange so I recommend doing this when you have privacy), These are forms of somatic experiencing. When we are stressed, cortisol, adrenaline and many, many other substances are dumped into our bodies. This was to help ensure we could either fight or run from a predator. The chemicals got burned up with the action of moving ourselves to safety. But while sitting in front of a computer or TV screen and getting upset or anxious, our bodies have the same reaction. We need to move the chemicals out of our bodies, so shake, dance, or punch a punching bag.
- It’s OK to not be OK – If you feel sad because you are in a sad situation, that is OK. Feel it and own it. Don’t feel like you need to always be upbeat. Nothing is worse that adding guilt on top of sadness or depression. Only when you own the feeling can you take ownership of it, like the pea in #3. Own it and then let it go when it’s time is done.
- Gratitude Journal – Yes, this still works. The idea has been around for a long time for a reason. Start one today. Before bed write down 5 things you are grateful for in your journal. You may find that you are looking for things throughout your day that you can write down.
- Manage your expectations – of yourself, your family, your co-workers; society in general. Take everyone off the hook for mistakes, for not doing things the “right” way. We are in a new world right now. Give each other some space to figure it out.
Related:
So What *Exactly* Is Resiliency
Julia Gandy, BS., M.Div., BCTMB
HeartMath Coach and Trainer
In Julia’s experience, wellness happens on many levels: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. If a person is not well on any of these levels, stress and/or disease may occur. Her training has enabled her to assist her clients on each of these levels, and has educated herself to meet these needs. Julia is a Board Certified Massage Therapist, Reiki Master, Medicinal Aromatherapist, HeartMath® Coach and Trainer, Mindfulness Coach and a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking. She has been trained in Pastoral and Group Crisis Intervention.
Julia has developed a system which melds many of the techniques and strategies she has learned to help her clients, their colleagues, and their families build quicker access to inner peace and to create a more peaceful, resilient home and working environments. She offers private coaching, online classes, workshops, and family retreats to help people live a more fulfilling, enjoyable life. She offers half- or full-day seminars to those in Corporate America, Healthcare, Social Services, Teachers and Law Enforcement and First Responders.
She can be found online at www.embodyingwellnesscoach.com or on Facebook and Instagram @embodyingwellnesscoach for her coaching business. For her peace building work, find and join the discussions at www.peaceandloveamplifiers.com or on Facebook and Instagram @peaceandloveamplifiers.
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